Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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