just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
