did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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