remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
