the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
