Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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