You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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