So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
