Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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