you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
