Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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