Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if only i could text you this smell
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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