your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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