Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Come see our sink grown plant.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
