im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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