I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
