one two three fourrrrnication!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
