Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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