so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
