he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
