The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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