Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
