i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
