i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
