cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
