hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my being single is dangerous.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
