i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
