I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
