question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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