Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
