I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
