I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
