don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
