New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
