if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
