batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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