if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize