I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
