My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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