just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well I just put wine in my tea
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
