Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
