She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
