Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
