Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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