I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
