He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
