What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
