butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
