Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Terrible idea I love it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
