My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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