matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
