Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
