By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
