Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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