just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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