Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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