I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
