Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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