I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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