Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
